Earn Money Online With A Pinoy College Student

Friends have always been one the greatest miracles that God gave us. They love us, protect us and comfort us in every single way. But what if you would fall in love with a friend? What then will be the fate of the supposed to be "pure intentions" between friends? Would there be a reason to hold on to friendship after feelings had been disclosed? Would there be a second chance of friendship? When can you draw the line between love and friendship?

The past few months were full of friendship and laughter between me and Carla. Every action need not be explained. It seemed to be a perfect friendship, even if things were beyond the confines of what I know about being friends. We exchange gifts, CDs, text messages and spend long hours since we were starting to connect our once departed worlds. Until things turned upside down on a Thursday night, November 1, 2007, the day I expressed my true feelings to her. As I uttered the words of love, faces of rejection and thoughts of her going away slapped my face. I feel like being tortured. My feelings were heavy as if I was carrying a truckload of broken dreams.

I tried to avoid her because I felt ashamed of myself but the moment I turned away, all the memories we had pulled me back to the place where pride and pain don't exist. That place is right beside her. I thought there was really no reason to move on because nothing had really started or even ended. I may have just been frightened of not having her anymore that soon. If things would turn to be that way, seconds would seem to be long hours. Days would seem years. Nights would seem endless as f the day doesn't exist anymore. Tears will flow endlessly forming oceans of agony and longing. I thought that letting go of someone dear to you is really hard. But I've realized it's harder to let go of someone you never had. The memories, the person, everything has to be considered.

A lot of what ifs, a lot of unanswered questions, a lot of unfinished plans and a lot of hidden emotions had to run over my head. I tried to smile even if I was about to cry. I tried to be fine even if I was hurting inside. It was hard to let go especially if that person was her. It's as if I would never across someone like her anymore. It feels that way, really.
So I decided to stay with the thoughts and with the memories of the beautiful friendship we had. I know wherever I go, there would always be something that would bring me back to the memories we shared. Every place I go, everything I do, would somehow remind me of her.
At least things are clearer for me now. Seriously, how could some things that seem so good and so true become endless mistakes that would haunt me? I fell and faced my greatest fear falling in love again. But she continually extended her hand when things were tough. It was hard and painful and yet she still managed to lit the darkness with pure intentions and no one I know could ever do that.

I cried, she cried. She was broken, I was too. Maybe things really have to be that rough. They made us realize how much we wanted to stay, how much we wanted to keep whatever we had and how much memories we had already been through. Most of all, after what happened, we saw each other's worth.

I won't regret those years when we were still living anonymous lives. Those lost years will not inhibit the binding of two separate lives towards pure and true friendship. I may not have really known how love is defined. I always associate it with relationships, fear of losing and fear of letting go. But I've realized that love is pure and love is true when shared by two people called friends. So maybe all I could wish for is this friendship to last. I may not have been a perfect partner for her, but I am now becoming a perfect friend to her. I never really had a bestfriend. I never really know how to treat one and how to act as one. But if bestfriends would really exist, my bestfriend would always be her.

And when I grow old, I will do every single thing as what the song of Adam Sandler says, "I wanna make you smile whenever you're sadI wanna grow old with you." If only things won't change, if only I could still be around even if our hair turns to gray, I'd gladly be around her. But it's very likely that we will be living separate lives. We can never stop our unfailing fate, and that makes our destiny verily predictable.

Before, there was only me, and then she happened. And the hopes that this journey leaves would only be my reason to stay in our friendship. A time would come when I can only feel her as the wind. A time would come when I could only see her in the night sky. But I hope that distance won't hinder us to go back to the place where we belong inside each others heart, as the best of friends.